Tuesday, October 28, 2014


This is awesome!!!!!

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….

A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow shit on the carpet.

Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this shit..!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: - Why Madam?

Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!

MORAL: - "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly."...


Monday, October 27, 2014

Sex Jokes

Q – Why Are Condoms Transparent?
A – So That Sperms Can At Least Enjoy The Scene Even If Their Entry Is Restricted!

Q – What Is The New Aids Awareness Slogan?
A – Try Different Positions With The Same Woman Instead Of Same Position With Different Women.

Q – What Will Happen If Earth Rotates 30 Times Faster?
A – Men Will Get Their Salary Everyday And Women Will Bleed To Death.

Q – Why Do 90% Girls Have Left Boob Bigger Than Right?
A – Because 90% Boys Are Right Handed.

Q – What Is The Difference Between A Panty & A Stage Curtain?
A – When You Pull Down The Stage Curtain, The Show Is Over, But When You Pull Down The Panty.. It Is Showtime!

Q – What Does A Signboard Out Side A Prostitute’s House Say?
A – Married Men Not Allowed Here. Because We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy.

Q – What Is The Similarity Between A Wife And A Chewing Gum?
A – Both Are Sweet In The Beginning But Become Tasteless And Shapeless Later.

Q – Why Is Sex Like Shaving?
A – Well, Because No Matter How Well You Do It Today. Tomorrow You’ll Have To Do It Again.
Laugh time

1. Question: “Why Can’t Anybody Satisfy A Woman Completely?”
Answer: “Because Nobody Has A Dick Made Of Gold, Decorated With Diamonds And Ejaculates Cash

2. Question: “Why Did Newton Commit Suicide?”
Answer: “Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Motion

3. Questions: “Why Do Men Wear Underwear?”
Answer: “As Per Military Rules, All Types Of Weapons Should Be Kept Covered During Peace Time“

4. Questions: “Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex?”
Answer: “They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure“

5. Question: Why Do Women Wear Panty?
Answer: Because State Law Says All Main-Holes Must Be Covered When Not In Use.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Malaysian Jokes

Malaysian Jokes

1.  One fine day, Najib, Muyhiddin and parliament members were on the
     way to a meeting where they all crashed in an accident and was rushed
     to the hospital. When the reporters at the hospital asked, the  doctor shook
     his head "We have done our best to rescue the PM but  ..."
     Reporters:"How about Muyhiddin?"
     Doctor:"We were unable to rescue him either ..."
     Reporters:"Who have you saved?"
     The doctor was excited:" Malaysia  is now saved!"

2.  Election campaign time -- car load of politicians were involved in a car accident.
     A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead.
     He buried all the passengers.Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer
     and asked where all the politicians were and was told that they had all been buried.
     Police: "Did they all die?"
     Farmer: "Hmmm.....Dr.Mahathir was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him"
     Police: "Then why did you bury him !!? "
     Farmer: "You know, Dr.M never tells the truth."


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Grass Banker

One afternoon a wealthy bank ceo was driving in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the banker said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree".

"Bring them along," the Banker replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the banker answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to mr. Banker and said, "Sir, you are too kind.

Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The banker replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"

Lesson: Never trust bankers....and there is nothing like KIND BANKERS !!!


Thursday, October 9, 2014