Friday, November 14, 2014

Sachin 98

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting


A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away.
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......

: Prize winning message of the year :

Wife at night : Tell me how much did Sachin score in 2003 world cup against Pakistan?

Husband : 98, why u are asking ?

Wife : Now tell me why you didn't wish me for my birthday since morning ?

Silence...........……

Husband couldn't even say, I have a bad memory


This is called...
Check n mate...……

A Student who got 0% Marks, was surprised
because his all answers were seemingly correct!Do you feel that he was wrongly penalized??
Q.1- In which battle did Tipu Sultan Die ?..
Ans.- In his Last Battle..
Q.2- Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page..
Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce?..
Ans.- Marriage..
Q.4- Ganga Flows in which State ?..
Ans.- Liquid State..
Q.5- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?.
Ans.- On His Birthday.
Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..
Ans.- By Mango Shake..!!
Q.7-where do maximum ice fall noticed in India...???..
Awesome Reply By Student:- .."In whiskey Glass."

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Wife Jump

() Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from room) Please come fast, I am having an argument with my wife & she says she will jump from your hotel window.

() Manager : Sir, I am sorry, but this is your personal Issue.
() Husband : Goyyala dei ! The window is not opening! This is a maintenance issue ..������

Friday

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Chef

Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.

Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
������

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.


IJK

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"