Monday, April 27, 2009

Singh Jr

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with
one of her students studying at YPS Patiala.

The teacher asked, "Singh Jr. what is your problem?" Singh Jr. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.

My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Singh Jr. to the principal's office.

While Singh Jr. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he
would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Singh Jr. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Singh Jr.: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Singh Jr.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Singh Jr. can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him?"

The principal and Singh Jr. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?
"Singh Jr., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Singh Jr.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Singh Jr.: Pull his "Pants"

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Singh Jr.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Singh Jr. was taking charge.
Singh Jr.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Singh Jr.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Singh Jr.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get
me up.I get wet before you do.
Singh Jr.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're
bored.The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large
Patiala Vodka peg.
Singh Jr.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When
you blow me, you feel good.
Singh Jr.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
Singh Jr.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means
a lot of heat and excitement?
Singh Jr.: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send Singh Jr. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!"

Monday, April 20, 2009

Women or the Bridge ?

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time... Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Men and Woman Thoughts





Friday, April 10, 2009

NOT everyone really helps



Sometimes we over-reach ourselves! And find ourselves over-extended and stuck in a situation that we can't get out of. There is one thing we should always remember.......


Not everyone who shows up.....





Is there to help us !!!!