Monday, June 15, 2009

i love you TOO

A prisoner escaped from jail. He broke into a house around the corner on Elgin St and finds a young couple in bed.
He gets the guy out of bed and ties him up on a chair, ties the woman to the bed and gets on top of her. kisses her on the neck , then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife; " Listen , this guy looks dangerous! He's probably spent a lot of time in prison and has not seen a woman in a long time. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you. If he gets angry , he may kill us. Be strong honey. I love you.
To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck he was whispering in my ear. He told me he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you TOO!

:))))

Sunday, June 14, 2009

monkey business

Are you currently shaking your head wondering what is going on in the US financial markets? Here is a wee story that illustrates
it beautifully.

'Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20 for a monkey. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.'

:)))))

Thursday, June 4, 2009

history of telecommunication

*_History of Telecommunication_*
* *
*After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year,*

*_Italian scientists_** **found traces of copper wire dating back 100
years *

*and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a
telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Italian's, in the weeks that followed, *

*a _Chinese archaeologist_ dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after,
a story in the China Daily read:
'Chinese archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, *

*have concluded their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech
communications network a hundred years earlier than the Italian's.

One week later, the Punjab Times, a local newspaper in India , reported
the following:
After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Amritsar , in the
Indian state of Punjab , *
*Dugdeep** Singh, a self-taught _Indian archaeologist_, reported that he
found absolutely nothing.
Dugdeep has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, India had already
gone wireless.*

:))))))))