Saturday, June 28, 2008

Bobby letters to God

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
**************

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************


Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

**************
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby

**************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

**************

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
**************


Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.


He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.

He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.

**************

Letter 5

God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

------------CayoteLives

Friday, June 27, 2008

Bhangra:Mr Bean Style

Business Logic:Bill Gates

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'

This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude
should be positive


What is Marketing?


You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very
rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.'
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a
drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer
her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

a woman's 3 wishes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.



She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.



The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.'



The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.



Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'



The woman said, 'That's okay.'



For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.



The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.



The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'



So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!



For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.



The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you..'



The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'



So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!



The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'



Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.




Attention female readers
: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.



Male readers
:
Please scroll down.



.....

.....

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.




Moral of the story
: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.






Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.




PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen...now run along and put the kettle on, there's a love.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Alaska Flight 261

Alaska Flight 261

Recently, some incredible news has been learned regarding the last few minutes of Alaska Airlines flight 261, before it crashed, the end of January. A man related last week that he talked with an Alaska Airlines pilot who is involved in the investigation of the crash of Alaska Flight 261.

The pilot has listened to the cockpit voice recorder from the downed plane and reported that for the last 9 minutes of the flight, the wife of the pastor from Monroe, Washington can be heard sharing the Gospel with the passengers over the airplane's intercom system.(The pastor and his wife were returning from Mexico mission trip.) Just before the final dive into the Pacific Ocean, she can be heard leading the sinners prayer for salvation!

The pilot also told John that the flight data recorder from the plane indicates that there is no good explanation for the plane remaining in the air for those final 9 minutes. But it did remain in the air until the pastor's wife finished sharing the Gospel and presumably lead many to Christ in those final moments.

Interesting, we haven't heard any of this on the evening news...

Thank the Lord for the Internet...please share this with anyone you think might enjoy.